


the gay gang

by trigonothankyou



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi, Sonia Kaspbrak's A+ Parenting, another gc fic bc i love them, bev and eddie brotp bc i love their friendship more than life itself, just lots of gay, reddie centric but the other ships will be developed too, theres swearing and sex jokes but thats it for the warnings really
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-27
Updated: 2018-11-23
Packaged: 2019-07-03 06:36:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15813450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trigonothankyou/pseuds/trigonothankyou
Summary: BevvyBoi: i think you broke eddiemicycle: eddie machine brokeBennyBabe: hes gonna wheeze to death





	1. So it begins

_[ richie tozier added eddie kaspbrak, ben hanscom, bill denbrough, mike hanlon, beverly marsh and stanley uris to “_ **_the Losers club_ ** _” ]_

****

_[ Saturday 4:26am ]_

****

_richie tozier changed their nickname to “_ **_trashcant_ ** _”_

****

**_trashcant_ ** _changed eddie kaspbrak’s nickname to “_ **_richie’s bitch_ ** _”_

****

**_trashcant_ ** _changed mike hanlon’s nickname to “_ **_micycle_ ** _”_

****

**_trashcant_ ** _changed ben hanscom’s nickname to “_ **_BennyBabe_ ** _”_

****

**_trashcant_ ** _changed beverly marsh’s nickname to “_ **_BevvyBoi_ ** _”_

****

**_trashcant_ ** _changed bill denbrough’s nickname to “_ **_BillyBitch_ ** _”_

****

**_trashcant_ ** _changed stanley uris’ nickname to “_ **_Stan the Man”_ **

****

**trashcant:** welcome to Hell you funky little fuckers

****

_[ Saturday 5:32am ]_

****

**richie’s bitch:** choke

****

**_richie’s bitch_ ** _changed their nickname to “_ **_Eddie_ ** _”_

****

**_trashcant_ ** _changed_ **_Eddie_ ** _’s nickname to “_ **_Spagheddie_ ** _”_

****

**trashcant:** if thats what you’re into baby ;)

****

**spagheddie:** i despise you

****

**trashcant:** _gasp_

****

**trashcant:** Eds :o

****

**trashcant:** no lying on my good suburban server!

****

**spagheddie:** shut up and don’t call me that

****

**BillyBitch:** hi yes why the FUCK are you two awake

****

**trashcant:** i was looking at memes

****

**spagheddie:** i was getting a drink

****

**trashcant:** drinking??

****

**trashcant:** at this time of day???

****

**trashcant:** who are you and what have you done with my lover????

****

**spagheddie:** milk you idiot

****

**spagheddie:** and dont call me that im not your lover

****

**trashcant:** stop denying our love

****

**Stan the Man:** I hate both of you.

****

**spagheddie:** what did i do???

****

**Stan the Man:** You engaged with him.

****

**trashcant:** i fucking wish eddie was engaged to me

****

**spagheddie:** with. he said WITH

****

**BennyBabe:** blease,, im begging you all,, go to sleep

****

**Stan the Man:** Yes, do as Ben says.

****

**trashcant:** never!!

****

**spagheddie:** Richie.

****

**trashcant:** welp thats my cue to hit the hay!

****

**trashcant:** goodnight y’all!

****

**spagheddie:** Y’ALL

****

**BennyBabe:** y’all

****

**BillyBitch:** y’all

****

**Stan the Man:** Y’all.

****

**BevvyBoi:** y’all

****

**micycle:** y’all

****

**trashcant:** where the fuck did you two even come from??

****

**micycle:** watch your language cowboy

****

**BevvyBoi:** howdy pardner

****

**BennyBabe:** i said go to sleep why did the rest of you wake up

****

**BevvyBoi:** spite

****

**spagheddie:** wow it really do be ya own

****

**BennyBabe:** :(

****

**trashcant:** B)

****

**Stan the Man:** No.

****

_[ Saturday 3:23pm ]_

****

**BillyBitch:** richie where tf are you???

****

**BillyBitch:** you were supposed to be at the quarry half an hour ago

****

**spagheddie:** that idiots probably asleep

****

**Stan the Man:** That’s what happens when you stay up late to make a groupchat nobody wants.

****

**BevvyBoi:** tea

****

**spagheddie:** call him out stan!

****

**Stan the Man:** I just did.

****

**spagheddie:** why do stans texts sound so aggressive

****

**micycle:** its an intimidation tactic known as proper grammar

****

**spagheddie:** its working

****

**Stan the Man:** I know.

****

**spagheddie:** ⚆ _ ⚆

****

**BillyBitch:** why are you gays still texting when we’re all together?

 

**micycle:** do you mean guys?

****

**BillyBitch:** did i stutter?

****

**micycle:** well..

****

**spagheddie:** HDGJFHHS MIKE

****

**BillyBitch:** blocked

****

**micycle:** didnt they tell you that i was a savage

****

**BevvyBoi:** i think you broke eddie

****

**micycle:** eddie machine broke

****

**BennyBabe:** hes gonna wheeze to death

****

**trashcant:** somebody record it i wanna see him laughing

****

**micycle:** of course now you choose to reply

****

**trashcant:** mike

****

**trashcant:** the video

****

**trashcant:** blease

****

**BevvyBoi:** [eddielaughing468.mov]

****

**trashcant:** id die for you

****

**BevvyBoi:** [obamaeyes.jpg]

****

**micycle:** 468??

****

**micycle:** you have 468 videos of eddie laughing??

****

**BevvyBoi:** some of them are pictures

****

**micycle:** still?

****

**BevvyBoi:** i lov him

****

**BillyBitch:** i love eddie too but 468 videos/pictures of him? Really?

****

**BevvyBoi:** no theres 468 videos and pics of him laughing

****

**BevvyBoi:** theres still 749 other eddie content

****

**spagheddie:** about 85% of my camera roll is bev

****

**spagheddie:** mlm/wlw solidarity bitchesss

****

**Dumb bi >> Superior bi**

****

_[ Saturday 4:58pm ]_

****

**Dumb bi:** leak the eddie stash you coward

****

**Superior bi:** what will i get in return

****

**Dumb bi** : whatever you want

****

**Dumb bi:** keep in mind ive only got like 8 dollars to my name

****

**Superior bi:** hmm

****

**Superior bi:** ill get back to you about my payment

****

**Superior bi:** [attachment.240images]

****

**Dumb bi:** ik you have more than that

****

**Superior bi:** you have to earn them

****

**Dumb bi:** Understandable have a good day.

****

**the Losers club**

****

_[ Sunday 3:56am ]_

****

**trashcant:** wait we were meant to hang out today?

****

**spagheddie:** BYE


	2. i feel gay in this chilis tonight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Actually loving Mom: eddies being gay on main again

**the Losers club**

****

_ [ Tuesday 5:32pm ] _

****

**BennyBabe:** are you a coffee gay or a tea gay? Im a tea gay for sure

****

**trashcant:** im an energy drink bi

****

**BevvyBoi:** im a milkshake bi

****

**micycle:** i love me some refreshing water

****

**Stan the Man:** I’m a tea gay.

****

**BillyBitch:** im a soda lovin pan

****

**spagheddie:** im a smoothie gay 100%

****

**BennyBabe:** only one of you actually answered my question?

****

**spagheddie:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

****

**BennyBabe:** sigh

****

**BennyBabe:** thank you Stan and Stan only

****

**Stan the Man:** You’re welcome.

****

**trashcant:** whats your favorite smoothie eds

****

**spagheddie:** thats not my name!!

****

**spagheddie:** mango and orange

****

**trashcant:** adorable

****

**BillyBitch:** its a smoothie??

****

**trashcant:** ADORABLE.

****

**BillyBitch:** im so confused

****

**micycle:** just go with it

****

**micycle:** thats what the rest of us are doing

****

**BevvyBoi:** the rest of us are ignoring him

****

**_BevvyBoi_** _changed_ ** _trashcant_** _’s nickname to_ _“_ ** _whipped bitch_** _”_

****

**BennyBabe:** no printer just fax

****

**spagheddie:** i dont approve of this

****

**whipped bitch:** yeah you tell em babe!

****

**spagheddie:** hes more of a bastard than a bitch

****

**whipped bitch:** EDS!!

****

**_BillyBitch_ ** _ changed  _ **_whipped bitch_ ** _ ’s nickname to “ _ **_whipped bastard_ ** _ ” _

****

**BillyBitch:** u rite

****

**whipped bastard:** i hate this fuckiNG FAMILY

****

**Stan the Man:** No, you don’t.

****

**whipped bastard:** no i dont

****

**micycle:** soft

****

**whipped bastard:** hellz yea i am

****

**spagheddie:** i could help you with that

****

**whipped bastard:** what

****

**whipped bastard:** WHAT

****

**BillyBitch:** oh my god

****

**BennyBabe:** EDDIE

****

**BevvyBoi:** richie.exe has stopped working

****

**micycle:** eddie,, why

****

**spagheddie:** i can feel the disappointment through the screen

****

**BevvyBoi:** im pretty proud of you

****

**BillyBitch:** same 

****

**BillyBitch:** you finally made richie shut up

****

**BillyBitch:** thats impressive

****

**BennyBabe:** help richie with his soft dick OUTSIDE the gc

****

**BennyBabe:** smh

****

**spagheddie:** i was kiddiNG

****

**spagheddie:** i would never go anywhere near richies dick

****

**Stan the Man:** Sure Jan.

****

**spagheddie:** stan no

****

**Stan the Man:** Stan yes.

****

**micycle:** stan yes

****

**BillyBitch:** stan yes

****

**BennyBabe:** stan yes

****

**BevvyBoi:** stan yes

****

**whipped bastard:** okay i have recovered

****

**mediocre boyscout >> literal demon**

_ [ Tuesday 7:13 ] _

****

**mediocre boyscout:** it took you ten minutes to recover from a text?

****

**literal demon:** it wasnt just a text billy

****

**literal demon:** it was a kinky text

****

**literal demon:** from EDDIE

****

**literal demon:** aimed at ME

****

**mediocre boyscout:** thats gay

****

**literal demon:** none of us are straight bill

****

**mediocre boyscout:** oh yah lol

****

**Carry on my Gayward Son**

****

_ [ Tuesday 7:16 ] _

****

**Actually loving Mom:** eddies being gay on main again

****

**Chaotic Gay:** i sent it without thinking ogay?

****

**DenBro:** maybe ogay will be our always

****

**Actually alive Dad:** did you change my name while i was sleeping again

****

**Actually alive Dad:** this is so depressing Eddie why??

****

**Chaotic Gay:** it wasnt me this time i swear!!

****

**Actually loving mom:** in my defence i got the go ahead from eddie first

****

**Actually alive Dad:** oh my god Bev!

****

**Actually alive Dad:** yours is even worse!!

****

**Actually loving Mom:** but babe

****

**Actually loving Mom:** we match!!

****

**Actually alive Dad:** Bev i love you so much but what the heck

****

**Chaotic Gay:** when you and bae have matching usernames * heart eyes emoji *

****

**Actually alive Dad:** why did you type it out

****

**DenBro:** because hes gay Ben

****

**DenBro:** also those usernames are reminding why i want to protect eddie from everything wrong in the world

****

**DenBro:** i love you bro

****

**Chaotic Gay:** ༼ つ ಥ_ಥ ༽つ

****

**Chaotic Gay:** i love you too bitch

****

**DenBro:** <3333

****

**Actually alive Dad:** :’) i love watching my friends love eachother

****

**DenBro:** kinky

****

**Chaotic Gay:** kinky

****

**Actually loving Mom:** kinky

****

**Actually alive Dad:** those all came in at exactly the same time smh

****

**Actually alive Dad:** get your minds out of the gutter dammit

****

**_Actually loving Mom_ ** _ changed  _ **_Actually alive Dad_ ** _ ’s nickname to “ _ **_Dilf_ ** _ ” _

****

**_Actually loving Mom_ ** _ changed their nickname to “ _ **_Milf_ ** _ ” _

****

**Dilf:** disguss ting

****  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk how often im gonna be able to update this fic bc i have a LOT of schoolwork but ill try to update it frequently enough! all kudos and comments are appreciated :) ( i realised after writing this that there wasnt much mike or stan in this chapter so expect more of them in coming chapters)


	3. sonia kaspbrak is a raging bitch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stan the Man: She’s too gay to function.

**the Losers club**

_[ Wednesday 2:34am ]_

****

**micycle:** regina george is a lesbian

****

**spagheddie:** ugh ur mind

****

**BevvyBoi:** u rite

****

**BillyBitch:** in this house we are regina stans first and human beans second

****

**Stan the Man:** beans are fuckibg disgusting shut up

****

**spagheddie:** stans hatred for beans overrides his need for perfect grammar

****

**BevvyBoi:** a typo and inproper punctuation all in one sentence?

****

**BevvyBoi:** from stan???

****

**BevvyBoi:** are we in some sort of alternate universe????

****

**micycle:** the simulation is broken

****

**Stan the Man:** Your incessant texting woke me up.

****

**BillyBitch:** it was four texts?

****

**Stan the Man:** That’s too many.

****

**micycle:** ogay but am i right or am i right

****

**Stan the Man:** You’re correct.

****

**micycle:** so you agree

****

**micycle:** you think she’s really gay

****

**Stan the Man:** She’s too gay to function.

****

**micycle:** FGGGGH

****

**micycle:** marry me

****

**Stan the Man:** Buy me a nice ring, then we’ll talk.

****

**BevvyBoi:** GASP

****

**spagheddie:** GASP

****

**Stan the Man:** The fact that those came in at the exact same time makes me think you two spend too much time together.

****

**BevvyBoi:** we spend a perfectly reasonable amount of time together thank you very much

****

**spagheddie:** yea! Perfectly reasonable!!

****

**micycle:** arent you at bevs house rn?

****

**spagheddie:** mayhaps

****

**spagheddie:** but so what?? Friends cant have sleepovers before school starts??

****

**micycle:** most friends dont stay at eachothers houses all day and night everyday for two weeks

****

**micycle:** seriously when did you last go home

****

**Stan the Man:** Is everything okay at home Eddie?

****

**spagheddie:** of course!! I just like spending time with my friend!!

****

**Beverly Marsh >> Stanley Uris, Mike Hanlon**

****

_[ Wednesday 3:09am ]_

****

**Beverly Marsh:** drop it gays

****

**Mike Hanlon:** you got it chief

****

**Stanley Uris:** Fine.

****

**Distinguished Gay >> Disaster Gay**

****

_[ Wednesday 3:11am ]_

****

**Distinguished Gay:** I know you said everything’s okay but I’m your friend, I know when you’re lying. If something’s wrong you can talk to me.

 

 **Distinguished Gay:** One gay to another.

****

**Disaster Gay:** ik you only said that last part to cheer me up

****

**Distinguished Gay:** Did it work?

****

**Disaster Gay:** you know it did

****

**Disaster Gay:** stuffs just not great with my mom rn

****

**Disaster Gay:** or even less great than usual

****

**Disaster Gay:** shes been more overbearing than usual about pills recently because she thinks they’ll make me “normal” and i just cant be around her

****

**Disaster Gay:** ik i cant stay at bevs forever tho so ill have to go back soon and itll be ten times worse than before

****

**Disaster Gay:** i dont really wanna think about it until i have to okay

****

**Distinguished Gay:** I’m sorry for pushing it. I’m also sorry your mom’s a raging bitch.

****

**Disaster Gay:** HDGJDGJDFH MAYBE SO

****

**Distinguished Gay:** If your mom gets too much to handle when you go home you can stay with me. My parents probably won’t let you stay as long as Beverly’s aunt would, but a few nights would be fine. I understand if you would prefer to stay at somebody else’s house.

****

**Disaster Gay:** no id love to stay with you Stan wtf

****

**Disaster Gay:** thank you sm  <333

****

**Disaster Gay:** and thanks for texting me

****

**Disaster Gay:** love you Stan

****

**Distinguished Gay:** <3

****

**the Losers club**

****

_[ Wednesday 3:42am ]_

****

**BevvyBoi:** what can i say im just eddies favorite ig

 

 **whipped bastard:** that is not correct, because according to the encyclopedia of fjfjgjhfjfj

****

**BillyBitch:** im surprised you can even spell encyclopedia

****

**spagheddie:** FKFFHFKKFKFH

****

**BevvyBoi:** Richie Tozier found dead in miami

****

**spagheddie:** bills rlly living up to his nickname huh

****

**whipped bastard:** eds

****

**whipped bastard:** tell bev shes wrong

****

**spagheddie:** sorry babe lyings a sin and im a child of god

****

**literal demon >> mediocre boyscout**

****

_[ Wednesday 3:43am ]_

****

**literal demon:** BABE!!!

****

**mediocre boyscout:** BABE!!

****

**literal demon:** FKDDFKGYTUFJBK

****

**mothman >> (wheeze)**

 

_[ Wednesday 3:44am ]_

****

**mothman:** i just read back through the groupchat

****

**mothman:** im gonna deprive your mom of all this for ATLEAST a month

****

**mothman:** [ video.mp3 ]

****

**(wheeze):** did you just send me a video of you,, gesturing to yourself

****

**mothman:** my text doesnt have the same effect without the gesture eds

****

**(wheeze):** ur an idiot

****

**mothman:** u luv it

****

**(wheeze):** i guess

****

**mothman:** GASP

****

**mothman:** IM SWOONING

****

**mothman:** my eds flirting with lil ol’ me

****

**(wheeze):** IM NOT FLIRTING SHUT UP

****

**mothman:** shouting doesnt change the truth eds

****

**mothman:** you set out to sweep me off my feet and oh boy have you succeeded

****

**(wheeze):** all i said was i guess

****

**mothman:** but i knew well enough what you meant sweetheart

****

**(wheeze):** what was the purpose of you texting me

****

**mothman:** eds, baby, my love, my life

****

**mothman:** had to make sure you knew id punish your mother for hurting my man

****

**mothman:** in more ways than one ;))

****

**(wheeze):** you just said you werent gonna fuck my mom and now youre implying you will??

****

**(wheeze):** youre doing a shit job of defending my honor

****

**(wheeze):** smh it really do be ya own

****

**mothman:** sorry gorgeous

****

**mothman:** but the dick wants what it wants

****

**(wheeze):** youre a dick alright

****

**mothman:** im a huge dick babe ;)

****

**(wheeze):** you got that right

****

**mothman:** so wyd

 

 **mothman:** wait

****

**mothman:** HEY

****

**(wheeze):** djdffdjdj

****

**the Losers club**

****

_[ Wednesday 8:42am ]_

****

**BennyBabe:** every damn day i wake up to find out that once again, you sleep deprived losers have forgone sleeping to blow up my phone like the gremlins you are

****

**BennyBabe:** all i ask for is one day without one of you sending weird shit at the dead of night and sparking conversation

****

_[ Thursday 3:22am ]_

****

**Whipped bastard:** the easter bunny is just jesus’ fursona if you think about it

****

**BennyBabe:** GODAMNIT RICHIE

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apparently idk how to write more than two characters at a time so sorry bout that but i will write more bev next chapter i swear. also have some stan and eddie interaction bc i love them and stephen king hurt me. kudos and comments fuel me so leave some if you want no pressure tho lol bye <3


	4. bill the broken boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> trashcant: stop using fancy words youre gonna give stan a boner

**the Losers club**

****

_[ Thursday 6:22pm ]_

****

**_spagheddie_ ** _changed_ **_whipped bastard_ ** _’s nickname to_ “ **trashcant** ”

****

**trashcant:** order has been restored

****

_[ Thursday 7:43pm ]_

****

**BillyBitch:** school is hell and i want death

****

**BevvyBoi:** big mood

****

**spagheddie:** big same

****

**trashcant:** big me

****

**micycle:** is there context behind your text or is that a general statement?

****

**trashcant:** stop using fancy words youre gonna give stan a boner

****

**spagheddie:** you fool

****

**spagheddie:** that was his plan

****

**Stan the Man:** Keep my good name out of your filthy mouths, gremlins.

****

**BillyBitch:** eh

****

**BillyBitch:** your name’s mediocre at best

****

**Stan the Man:** Fucker.

****

**BevvyBoi:** d r a g  h i m

****

**trashcant:** the tea is piping

****

**BennyBabe:** HI SISTERS

****

**spagheddie:** still cant believe bens a james charles stan

****

**BennyBabe:** im not i just live for the drama in the makeup industry

****

**trashcant:** wow ben really is That messy bitch

****

**BennyBabe:** maybeso.gif

****

**micycle:** eddie said that to me irl the other day

****

**micycle:** he straight up said “maybeso.gif” like thats a normal thing that normal people say ever

****

**spagheddie:** nothing i do is straight

****

**BevvyBoi:** nothing he says is normal

****

**spagheddie:** hEY

****

**BillyBitch:** w a s t e d

****

**spagheddie:** my own bff,, turned against me,

****

**spagheddie:** this betrayal runs deep,,

****

**Stan the Man:** The gays are being dramatic again.

****

**micycle:** you’re gay?

****

**BennyBabe:** And what about it?

****

**BillyBitch:** CGJMHI BROKDE MY JFICKIN KLEG

****

**BevvyBoi:** kleg

****

**spagheddie:** klEG

****

**trashcant:** kleg hurty jiuce

****

**BevvyBoi:** jiuce

****

**spagheddie:** jiuCE

****

**BillyBitch:** oh how the turntables

****

**BillyBitch:** BUT ANYWAYS

****

**BillyBitch:** leg machine broke

****

**BennyBabe:** bill,, sweatie,, what the heck did you do

****

**BillyBitch:** i was working on my moves and i fell out of the treehouse and broke my leg

****

**BevvyBoi:** you practise flirting in your treehouse??

****

**micycle:** i think he means dancing

****

**trashcant:** children cast your votes

****

**trashcant:** did bill fall out of his treehouse because he was flirting or because he was dancing

****

**spagheddie:** this is bill we’re talking about

****

**spagheddie:** flirting 100%

****

**Stan the Man:** I agree with Eddie.

****

**BennyBabe:** ive seen bill dance

****

**BennyBabe:** i hope for his sake he was practising dance moves

****

**BillyBitch:** o u c h

****

**BillyBitch:** that hurt almost as much as breaking my leg

****

**trashcant:** sometimes you gotta macarena through the pain Billiam

****

**spagheddie:** fhkfhjfhk

****

**BillyBitch:** fuck you richie

****

**BillyBitch:** youre all wrong

****

**BillyBitch:** i was neither dancing nor flirting

****

**BillyBitch:** i was trying to do cool new tricks on my heelies

****

**micycle:** h-heelies?

****

**Stan the Man:** You broke your leg trying to do tricks on your heelies?

****

**BennyBabe:** you fell out of a treehouse,, because you were messing in your heelies

****

**BillyBitch:** I WASNT MESSING BEN I WAS PRACTISING MY CRAFT

****

**BillyBitch:** MAYBE IF YOU HAD A BUSINESS THAT YOU WERE PASSIONATE ABOUT THEN YOUD UNDERSTAND BUT YOU DONT

****

**BevvyBoi:** wait if you broke your leg wouldnt they take your phone while they do hospital shit

****

**micycle:** hospital shit

****

**BevvyBoi:** shut

****

**BillyBitch:** im not in the hospital

****

**micycle:** ??

****

**BillyBitch:** my parents wont answer the phone and georgie is at his friends house so im still home

****

**BevvyBoi:** are you still on the ground

****

**BillyBitch:** well i couldnt exactly WALK to the hospital with a BROKEN LEG

****

**Stan the Man:** This is the best day of my life.

****

**Stan the Man:** I can see him from my window.

****

**Stan the Man:** [brokenbill.jpg]

****

**BennyBabe:** BROKEN BILL

****

**BevvyBoi:** IM SCREAMING WHY IS HE FOLDED LIKE THAT

****

**BevvyBoi:**  HE LOOKS LIKE A PAPER CRANE

****

**trashcant:** eddies gonna burst a blood vessel from laughing so hard

****

**trashcant:** bill break your bones more often this is amazing

****

**BillyBitch:** im not gonna break my bones just so you can watch eddie laugh!!!

****

**trashcant:** bill blease

****

**_trashcant_ ** _changed_ **_BillyBitch_ ** _’s nickname to_ “ **s[he’s] br[ok]en”**

****

**spagheddie:** wait bill how long have you been lying there

****

**Stan the Man:** He’s not there anymore I just saw Mike pick him up and drive off with him.

****

**s[he’s] br[ok]en:** i needed a hero..

****

**s[he’s] br[ok]en:** I held out for a hero til the end of the night

****

**s[he’s] br[ok]en:** He had to be strong and he had to be fast and he had to be fresh from the fight

****

**s[he’s] br[ok]en:** I needed a hero

****

**s[he’s] br[ok]en:** I held out for a hero til the morning light

****

**s[he’s] br[ok]en:** He had to be sure

****

**s[he’s] br[ok]en:** And it had to be soon

****

**s[he’s] br[ok]en:** And he had to be hot and named Mike

****

**BennyBabe:** breaking your bones changed you

****

**BevvyBabe:** hes always been a freak babe

****

**BennyBabe:** youre not wrong

****

**s[he’s] br[ok]en:** my fellow Bs,, turned against me

****

**BevvyBabe:** who are you?? Eddie??

****

**s[he’s] br[ok]en:** no i could never fuck richie

****

**spagheddie:** i never fucked richie??

****

**s[he’s] br[ok]en:** dammit

****

**s[he’s] br[ok]en:** i thought if i said it youd slip up and expose yourself

****

**spagheddie:** but i didnt fuck him so theres nothing to expose

****

**trashcant:** exactly

****

**trashcant:** i fucked him

****

**BevvyBoi:** Eddie, sweetie. Im so sorry. Im so sorry that a ugly ass bitch like this would even say that, oh my god.

****

**spagheddie:** friendship with fake bitches canceled bevs my only friend now

****

**BennyBabe:** what did i do??

****

**Stan the Man:** I have done nothing wrong.

****

**micycle:** what about me????

****

**spagheddie:** i canceled all of you for e m p a s i s

****

**Stan the Man** : You spelt ‘emphasis’ wrong.

****

**spagheddie:** this is why youre canceled

****

**micycle:** bill has a cast and he is asleep

****

**trashcant:** ill be there in five

****

**spagheddie:** youre leaving me?

****

**BevvyBoi:** gay

****

**trashcant:** sorry babe duty calls

****

**spagheddie:** what are you even doing???

****

**trashcant:** thats on a need to know basis

****

_[ Friday 10:07am ]_

****

**s[he’s] br[ok]en:** richie you fuckface

 

 **s[he’s] br[ok]en:** THERE ARE DICKS

****

**s[he’s] br[ok]en:** ALL OVER MY FUCKING CAST

****

**spagheddie:** GDHGDVGCFHSFHGCFGS

****

**trashcant:** thats my cue to skidaddle on outta here

****

**s[he’s] br[ok]en:** RICHIE

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapters terrible and i took two weeks to post but ive been busy having a mental breakdown. i might take awhile to post the next chapter so dont expect anything any time soon, hope you enjoyed this steaming pile of shit! :)


	5. stanlon is canon king

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> trashcant: it’s October third
> 
> s[he’s] br[ok]en: Aaron samuels could catch this bussy
> 
> BennyBabe: it’s., it’s literally the 31st?

**the Losers club**

****

_[ Wednesday 19:03 ]_

****

**trashcant:** it’s October third

****

**s[he’s] br[ok]en:** Aaron samuels could catch this bussy

****

**BennyBabe:** it’s., it’s literally the 31st?

****

**spagheddie:** he didn’t realize it was October until just now

****

**spagheddie:** he’s making up for lost time

****

**Stan the Man:** How did you not realize it was October? The month's nearly over.

****

**trashcant:** Eds cute face distracted me

****

**BevvyBoi:** fair

****

**BennyBabe:** for 31 days?

****

**trashcant:** he’s just that cute what can I say

****

**spagheddie:** he’s lying he thought it was still the summer because of how many school days he skipped

****

**trashcant:** you’re right but you shouldn’t say it

****

**micycle:** why were you skipping school??

****

**trashcant:** I thought it was still summer

****

**trashcant:** Ed’s already established this keep up micycle

****

**s[he’s] br[ok]en:** don’t sass him

****

**BevvyBoi:** billy,,,

****

**BevvyBoi:** how’ve you been,,,,,

****

**s[he’s] br[ok]en:** idk what’s going on but I don’t like it

****

**BevvyBoi:** nothing,, just wondering if you’ve been listening to any new music recently,,,

****

**s[he’s] br[ok]en:** EDDIE WHAT DID YOU TELL HER

****

**spagheddie:** I DID NOTHING

****

**s[he’s] br[ok]en:** LIAR

****

**BennyBabe:** what’s going on

****

**s[he’s] br[ok]en:** EDDIES A RAT

****

**BevvyBoi:** BILLS AN EMO

****

**trashcant:** I miss when he straightened his bangs

****

**s[he’s] br[ok]en:** SHUT UP IM NOT EMO

****

**BevvyBoi:** THEN WHY DID EDDIE HEAR YOU PLAYING THE NEW TØP ALBUM HMM

****

**s[he’s] br[ok]en:** HE HEARD NOTHING

****

**s[he’s] br[ok]en:** NOTHING I TELL YOU

****

**spagheddie:** the entire street heard you billy

****

**spagheddie:** it’s okay just admit it bill

****

**_micycle_** _changed_ ** _s[he’s] br[ok]en_** _’s_ _nickname to_ “ **Emo Thot”**

****

**Emo Thot:** this is cyber bullying

****

**Stan the Man:** Endure it, emo.

****

**_trashcant_ ** _changed_ **_Emo Thot_ ** _’s nickname to_ “ **Hot Topic Emo** ”

****

**BennyBabe:** gamers are the most discriminated against group in the world

****

**micycle:** wh

****

**BevvyBoi:** wh

****

**Stan the Man:** wh

****

**spagheddie:** wh

****

**trashcant:** so true Ben T . T

****

**Hot Topic Emo:** f

****

**trashcant:** f

****

**micycle:** this house is a FUCKING NIGHTMARE

****

**BevvyBoi:** we been knew

****

**spagheddie:** I blame Richie

****

**Stan the Man:** me too

****

**BevvyBoi:** same

****

**BennyBabe:** same

****

**Hot Topic Emo:** same

****

**micycle:** same

****

**trashcant:** what in the fuck

****

**trashcant:**??? I’m a deLIGHT

****

**trashcant:** bitches really ain’t shit

****

**BevvyBoi:** what time are we meeting at??

****

**Hot Topic Emo:** me and Georgie are going trick or treating in like 10 minutes so about 8:30/9??

****

**Stan the Man:** Georgie and I

****

**Hot Topic Emo:**?? I’m taking him not you??

****

**BennyBabe:** oh bill

****

**micycle:** oh bill

****

**micycle:** DRIFT

****

**BennyBabe:** DRIFT

****

**BevvyBoi:** what’s Georgie dressing as

****

**Hot Topic Emo:** he insisted on being a witch

****

**Hot Topic Emo:** mom tried to pick up a wizard costume but he said witches are cooler so now he’s wearing an 8 year old girls witch costume

****

**BevvyBoi:** I love him

****

**spagheddie:** rt

****

**trashcant:** rt

****

**BennyBabe:** rt

****

**micycle:** rt

****

**Stan the Man:** rt

****

**trashcant:** wait

****

**trashcant:** you and Georgie do matching costumes each year

****

**trashcant:** are you his cat you furry bitch

****

**spagheddie:** HSHCBXJCJDHF

****

**spagheddie:** IM SCREAMING

****

**spagheddie:** I ANSWERED THE DOOR

****

**spagheddie:** AND BILLS STANDING THERE

****

**spagheddie:** WITH LIKE A MILLION PIECES OF STRAW STICKING OUT OF HIS HAIR

****

**Hot Topic Emo:** trick or treat Bitch

****

**spagheddie:** [billandgeorgie.jpg]

****

**BevvyBoi:** I-

****

**_BevvyBoi_ ** _has changed_ **_Hot Topic Emo_ ** _‘s nickname to_ “ **Bill the Broom** ”

****

**Bill the Broom:** listen

****

**Bill the Broom:** Georgie insisted and I love my brother too much to say no

****

**trashcant:** soft

****

**Bill the Broom:** you have never said no to Eddie in your life ever you don’t get to judge me bitch

****

**BevvyBoi:** whoomp there it is

****

**trashcant:** I say no to Eddie all the time

****

**micycle:** last week you carried eddie up six steep flights of stairs all because he said he was tired

****

**BennyBabe:** one time you spent the entire day bending awkwardly to shield eddies eyes from the sun because he said it was annoying him

****

**Stan the Man:** You literally ran to the school and back to get Eddie‘s book for him because he didn’t want to do the work at lunch. It’s a twenty minute run.

****

**Bill the Broom:** when we were twelve you broke your leg falling out of a tree because Eddie said he wanted one of the leaves and you were determined to find the prettiest one for him

****

**BevvyBoi:** any time eddies in the car you make sure to drive the long way around just because Eddie doesn’t like the Paul bunion statue

****

**BevvyBoi:** that’s like six dollars worth of gas and you drive Eddie everywhere

****

**trashcant:** he fixes my car for free!! It’s a fair exchange!!

****

**Carry on my Gayward Son**

****

_[ Wednesday 19:43 ]_

****

**Chaotic Gay:** does Richie is gay for me???

****

**Milf:** Eddie I love you but you’re a dumb gay

****

**Dilf:** finally

****

**DenBro:** reply in the groupchat or it’ll get awkward and I don’t need you gays ruining Halloween

****

**Chaotic Gay:** okay broom boy

****

**the Losers club**

****

_[ Wednesday 19:47 ]_

****

**spagheddie:** gay

****

**trashcant:** you’re a walking rainbow flag what kinda wack hypocrisy is this

****

**BevvyBoi:** hypocrisy doesn’t look real

****

**BennyBabe:** me: knows it’s pronounced hip-aw-Chris-ee

****

**BennyBabe:** My last brain cell: hippo-cry-sea

****

**Bill the Broom:** I think Ben is dyslexic

****

**BennyBabe:** [andwhataboutit.gif]

****

**mediocre boyscout >> literal demon**

****

_[ Wednesday 20:24 ]_

****

**literal demon:** I’ve just arrived at eddies house

****

**literal demon:** bill im so gay

****

**mediocre boyscout:** what that Boy do

****

**literal demon:** he’s wearing a bACKPACK

****

**literal demon:** MY HEART CANT HANDLE THIS MUCH LOVE

****

**mediocre boyscout:** Richie

****

**mediocre boyscout:** he wears a backpack to school

****

**mediocre boyscout:** e v e r y d a y

****

**literal demon:** everyday bro?

****

**mediocre boyscout:** fuck outta here with your Jake Pauler shit

****

**mediocre boyscout:** it’s logang for life, fuckface

****

**literal demon:** GASP

****

**the Losers club**

****

_[ Wednesday 20:26 ]_

****

**trashcant:** GATHER ROUND YALL ITS TIME FOR OUR DAILY DISCOURSE

****

**trashcant:** Jake Paul or Logan Paul?

****

**BevvyBoi:** gotta go with Jake

****

**BevvyBoi:** he’s the lesser evil of the two

****

**BennyBabe:** I don’t like either but Logan’s videos are more entertaining

****

**Bill the Broom:** this is why Ben is the favorite

****

**Stan the Man:** Isn’t Jake racist?

****

**Stan the Man:** Neither are particularly enticing options but I’ll go with Logan.

****

**micycle:** gotta agree with Stan here

****

**spagheddie:** neither. Tessa Brooks or death.

****

**trashcant:** Eds has the only valid answer love you so much baby

****

**spagheddie:** eat shit dickhead

****

**trashcant:** uwu

****

**BevvyBoi:** the competitions shook

****

**spagheddie:** THESE BOYS UP ON ME

****

**BevvyBoi:** I GOT EM BY THE HOOK

****

**spagheddie:** LEMME EDUCATE YA

****

**BevvyBoi:** AND I AINT TALKIN BOOKS

****

**trashcant:** [eddiebeingeddie.jpg]

****

**trashcant:** W O W

****

**BevvyBoi:** THAT SMILE

****

**BevvyBoi:** THE CUTEST

****

**BevvyBoi:** I LOVE ONE (1) MAN

****

**BennyBabe:** aw

****

**BevvyBoi:** I LOVE TWO (2) MEN

****

**micycle:** stan says this is anti Semitic and homophobic

****

**trashcant:** oh you’re typing for him now? ;)

****

**micycle:** shut

****

**BevvyBoi:** I LOVE THREE (3) MEN

****

**micycle:** I bought you a milkshake yesterday

****

**BevvyBoi:** I LOVE FOUR (4) MEN

****

**Bill the Broom:** I just wanna be loved

****

**BevvyBoi:** I,, love five (5) men?

****

**trashcant:** saving the best till last I see B)

****

**BevvyBoi:** :) i love Five (5) men

****

**trashcant:** hEY

****

**trashcant:** WHAT HAVE I EVER DONE TO YOU

****

**BevvyBoi:** you peed in my shoe

****

**trashcant:** accidentally

****

**spagheddie:** you Still peed in it

****

**trashcant:** a c c i d e n t a l l y

****

**spagheddie:** how do you accidentally piss in someone’s shoe?? You were sober

****

**trashcant:** I thought it was MY shoe

****

**spagheddie:** hello, 911?

****

**Bill the Broom:** isn’t Richie at your house? Why are you two texting when you’re beside eachother

****

**spagheddie:** we’re being inclusive you discriminatory bitch

****

**trashcant:** fuck you bill you racist fuck

****

**trashcant:** maybe next time you’ll think about what you say, asshole

****

**trashcant:** smh can’t believe homophobia is thriving in this day and age

****

**trashcant:** you disgust me

****

**Bill the Broom:** sTOP SWEARING GEORGIE WAS READING OVER MY SOLDIER

****

**trashcant:** that sounds like a you problem

****

**micycle:** protect him from your cruel bigotry

****

**Bill the Broom:** you’re all dramatic as fuck

****

**BevvyBoi:** as gays, it is our god given right to be dramatic

****

**spagheddie:** Period.

****

**trashcant:** Period.

****

**BennyBabe:** Period.

****

**Stan the Man:** Period.

****

**micycle:** Period.

****

**Bill the Broom:** s i g h

****

**Bill the Broom:** just hurry up and get to my house I wanna eat something before we leave

****

**BennyBabe:** are we sure this is a good idea

****

**BevvyBoi:** ghost hunting in the Neibolt House is the best idea we’ve ever had babe

****

**BevvyBoi:** all seven of our brain cells worked together to produce it

****

**Stan the Man:** That House terrifies me.

****

**micycle:** this is what I get for befriending white people

****

**micycle:** if any of you break out a oujia board I’m leaving you there to die

****

**trashcant:** nobody’s gonna die

****

**spagheddie:** then what is the point??

****

**BevvyBoi:** then what’s the point??

****

**BevvyBoi:** DRIFT

****

**spagheddie:** DRIFT

****

**Bill the Broom:** GAYS!

****

**Bill the Broom:** FOCUS

****

**Bill the Broom:** COME TO MY HOME! N O W

****

**trashcant:** we’re coming faster than Eddies mom did last night

****

**spagheddie:** someone will die and it will be Richie

****

**Stan the Man:** Good.

****

**Country Boy >> I luhv youuu**

****

_[ Wednesday 20:57 ]_

****

**Country Boy:** hey are you sure you’re okay? You’ve hardly texted all day and you’ve been quieter than usual irl too

****

**I luhv youuu:** I just really don’t like that house.

****

**I luhv youuu:** I know it’s stupid to be afraid of some old building when I’m 17 years old but it scares the shit out of me.

****

**Country Boy:** if it’s stupid to be scared shitless of that house then I guess I’m stupid

****

**Country Boy:** I’ll be with you the entire time tho I promise

****

**Country Boy:** and if it gets too much to handle I’ll take you back to bills and we can chill there

****

**I luhv youuu:** I don’t want to ruin your night.

****

**Country Boy:** you won’t be ruining it I already told you I’m not keen on the idea anyway

****

**Country Boy:** and besides, spending time with you is the best Halloween plan I can think of

****

**I luhv youuu:** Alright then.

****

**I luhv youuu:** Thanks, Mike.

****

**Country Boy:** No problem Stan.

****

**I luhv youuu:** Shut up.

****

**Country Boy:** Make me.

****

**mothman >> (wheeze)**

****

_[ Wednesday 21:01 ]_

****

**(wheeze):** i just saw Stan Kiss Mike

****

**(wheeze):** i was stuck under the chair so they didn’t notice me and now they’re making out

****

**(wheeze):** Richie THeres no way to escape without drawing attention to myself pls help

****

**(wheeze):** if I move the chair will fall

****

**mothman:** how did you get stuck under a chair

****

**(wheeze):** bev bet me five dollars that i couldn’t fit underneath it and I needed the money but then I got stuck and she took photos then left

****

**(wheeze):** but that’s not important Richie stan will murder me if he knows I’m here you gotta help

****

**mothman:** i don’t gotta do anything

****

**(wheeze):** please Rich?

****

**mothman:** be there in a second

****

**(wheeze):** thank you  <3

****

**mediocre boyscout >> literal demon**

****

_[ Wednesday 21:03 ]_

****

**literal demon:** im gay

****

**mediocre boyscout:** did you just break my fucking cupboards

****

**mothman >> (wheeze)**

****

_[ Wednesday 21:04 ]_

****

**(wheeze):** when I said help me I didn’t mean wreck bills kitchen

****

**mothman:** how should I have known the door would open hard enough to make everything fall off the walls

****

**(wheeze):** why was it necessary to use that much force??

****

**(wheeze):** don’t you dare make a joke about my mom

****

**mothman:** but you practically handed that to me

****

**mothman:** and I was trying to make them aware of my presence so they would think I don’t know about them

****

**mothman:** i was being a considerate friend!! Stan probably doesn’t want anyone knowing yet!!

****

**(wheeze):** wow i love you

****

**mothman:** i love you too sugartits

****

**(wheeze):** Choke.

****

**mediocre boyscout >> literal demon**

****

_[ Wednesday 21:08 ]_

****

**literal demon:** [textswitheddie.jpg]

****

**mediocre boyscout:** he said he loves you,, and you called him sugartits,,,

****

**mediocre boyscout:** also what’s with the scribbles over the other texts??

****

**literal demon:** just more of me being gay for Eddie don’t worry about it

****

**mediocre boyscout:** okay dumbass

****

**literal demon:** wh

****

**the Losers club**

****

_[ Wednesday 21:13 ]_

****

**BevvyBoi:** well I’m guessing that ideas out of the question now

****

**BevvyBoi:** you bring shame upon your fellow Bisexuals Richie

****

**trashcant:** I came out here for a good time and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now

****

**Bill the Room:** okay we need to be quick about this luckily the crash didn’t wake my parents or Georgie but we don’t know how long they’ll stay asleep

****

**Bill the Broom:** Bev Eddie and Mike you three are gonna try getting everything back onto the wall

****

**Bill the Broom:** Ben and Stan you two clear up all the broken dishes and any other mess on the floor

****

**Bill the Broom:** Richie you’ll come with me to buy new dishes and whatever else needs replacing

****

**micycle:** so no neibolt house?

****

**Bill the Broom:** no not this year

****

**Bill the Broom:** hopefully next year SOMEBODY doesn’t fuck things up for us

****

**trashcant:** again; feeling attacked!

****

**mothman >> (wheeze)**

****

_[ Wednesday 21:22 ]_

****

**mothman:** you see the abuse I’m putting up with for you??

****

**(wheeze):** im sorry Richie

****

**mothman:** you owe me big time Eds

****

**(wheeze):** that’s fair

****

**(wheeze):** you’re not actually upset are you?

****

**mothman:** nah nobody can stay mad at this fine specimen for long

****

**(wheeze):** fine isn’t the word I’d use but okay

****

**mothman:** Need i remind you the reason anyone’s mad in the first place is because I was helping you?

****

**(wheeze):** touché

****

**mothman:** thought so

****

**(wheeze):** <3

****

**mothman:** <3

****

**Country Boy >> I luhv youuu**

****

_[ Wednesday 21:24 ]_

****

**Country Boy:** looks like we don’t have to worry about neibolt house after all

****

**I luhv youuu:** Apparently not.

****

**Country Boy:** guess you’ll have to wait till next year to hold my hand when you get scared then

****

**I luhv youuu:** Can I hold your hand anyway or is being scared a necessary requirement?

****

**Country Boy:** Stan you smooth son of a bitch

****

**Country Boy:** usually I’d say being scared is an absolute necessity but I can make an exception for you IF you agree to go a date with me?

****

**I luhv youuu:** I suppose I could free up some time for you on Saturday.

****

**Country Boy:** Stan you spend all your free time with me anyway I know you don’t have anything else on

****

**I luhv youuu:** Nevermind, I don’t want to go on a date with you.

****

**Country Boy:** NO IM KIDDING PLEASE DATE ME

****

**I luhv youuu:** You sound a bit desperate.

****

**Country Boy:** only for you babe ;)

****

**I luhv youuu:** Never, ever text like Richie again and we have a deal.

****

**Country Boy:** I’ll pick you up at 1 on Saturday?

****

**I luhv youuu:** That works for me.

****

**Country Boy:** Alright it’s a date!

****

**I luhv youuu:** Yes, that’s the point, Mike.

****

**Country Boy:** damn you Stan

****

**Country Boy:** damn you

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i stayed up until 2am trying to get this finished in time to post for halloween but alas i failed you all
> 
> expect more reddie now that eddie knows the suss and enjoy the stanlon bc ik im enjoying writing it :)
> 
>  
> 
> this is like,, twice the length of the other chapters so take that as my way of making up for taking so long to update!! enjoy!!


	6. Ben The Builder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BennyBabe: this is my girlfriend Bev and this is Bev’s boyfriend Eddie

**the Losers club**

 

_ [ Thursday 02:14 ] _

 

**Bill the Broom:** I’m never allowing reddie to enter my home again

 

**spagheddie:** this is homophobic i have done nothing to warrant this hostility 

 

**trashcant:** what kind of biphobic nonsense is this

 

**trashcant:** I made one (1) eensy weensy mistake and suddenly I’m a bad person?? 

 

**trashcant:** That’s a toxic way to live bill

 

**trashcant:** shame on you

 

**trashcant:** stop succumbing to cancel culture you fuck

 

**BevvyBoi:** you broke his sink

 

**trashcant:** Ben said he could fix it!!

 

**BevvyBoi:** ben the builder

 

**Stan the Man:** You were still moronic enough to break it in the first place.

 

**trashcant:** Eddie was too!!

 

**spagheddie:** fucker

 

**spagheddie:** I was only there because you insisted I go with you!!!

 

**trashcant:** I DIDNT MAKE YOU SIT IN IT

 

**spagheddie:** YEA YOU DID

 

**spagheddie:** YOU LITERALLY PUT ME IN IT

 

**trashcant:** YOU DIDNT PROTEST AT ALL

 

**BevvyBoi:** how’d he even get you in there

 

**BevvyBoi:** he’s scrawny

 

**trashcant:** [pickachushocked.jpg]

 

**BennyBabe:** tea

 

**Micycle:** how’d you like them apples son?

 

**spagheddie:** it be ya own

 

**trashcant:** this is bi on bi crime

 

**Bill the Broom:** how has my family slept through all of this

 

**Micycle:** if we had woken Georgie up I’d cry

 

**Stan the Man:** If we had woken Georgie up I would kill myself.

 

**Micycle:** jesus Stanley 

 

**spagheddie:** Stan no

 

**Bill the Broom:** wait Eddie where are you??? Your sleeping bag is empty 

 

**BevvyBoi:** he’s with me and Ben

 

**Spagheddie:** we’re cuddling 

 

**BennyBabe:** I have an armful of Eddie 

 

**trashcant:** that’s the dream

 

**Micycle:** Eddie Bev and Ben are the living embodiment of that parks and rec episode

 

**Micycle:** you know the one

 

**BennyBabe:** this is my girlfriend Bev and this is Bev’s boyfriend Eddie

 

**Micycle:** THATS THE BITCH

 

**spagheddie:** Ben is my boyfriend too

 

**spagheddie:** he’s a beautiful boy

 

**spagheddie:** a smart, caring, beautiful boy

 

**Bill the Broom:** rt

 

**Micycle:** rt 

 

**Stan the Man:** rt 

 

**BevvyBoi:** rt 

 

**trashcant:** rt 

 

**BennyBabe:** hush you gays <3

 

**trashcant:** these are real loving Ben hanscom hours

 

**Bill the Broom:** all hours are living Ben hanscom hours

 

**trashcant:** u rite u rite

 

**BennyBabe:** richies only buttering me up so I’ll fix the mess he made

 

**trashcant:** ITS EDDIES MESS TOO

 

**spagheddie:** IT WAS YOUR FAULT

 

**trashcant:** IT WAS YOUR FAULT TOO YOU BEAUTIFUL SON OF A BITCH

 

**Bill the Broom:** who the fuck just threw something at me

 

**spagheddie:** sorry Billy I was aiming for Richie 

 

**trashcant:** my own lover,, ABUSING ME

 

**trashcant:** WHAT IN TARNATION

 

**Bill the Broom:** IT WAS ME HE ABUSED!! WITH A FUCKING ALARM CLOCK

 

**spagheddie:** it’s dark I miscalculated where Richie would be

 

**BevvyBoi:** this happens everytime bill you should know better than to sleep near Richie when Eddie’s around

 

**spagheddie:** he aggravated me more than any other human I’ve ever met 

 

**trashcant:** you love it baby

 

**spagheddie:** maybe so

 

**mediocre boyscout >> literal demon**

_ [ Thursday 2:39am ] _

 

**mediocre boyscout:** owo what’s this

 

**literal demon:** you fucking furry you shitty fuckibg furry why would you even oh my god

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is so short but i wanted to get something posted so voila!!

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic so lemme know what you think in the comments or you can find me on tumblr @ bazmato :)


End file.
